A Fish Named Quazi - and His Friends

I've had some pretty fun times fishing in my time. When I was 11, I caught my first baby striped bass. Bought pulled me off the pier. That's what I get for falling asleep with the pole in my hand.

Then there was the summer I was pg with the boy. We went fishing and I hooked a skate. Now THAT was a good fish story. People are positioning the boat in efforts to help, I'm fighting this huge (it was to me anyway), 6 foot skate with all my 7 month pg body, doing my best, tug tug, pull pull, reel reel....it was so much fun. We even have that one on video. Got that critter all the way up to the boat but alas, we didn't have the grapple we needed to pull it into the boat.

Just as I had that thing right where we though we wanted it, under the boat it went. This time it put too much pressure on the line and broke the pole. Got the scar on my hand to prove it. Had it.....had it.....dang! Broke the line.

Now to the smaller fish. Standing in the store one day and see this whole stack of betas. I like betas. They're beautiful, graceful, lovely and peaceful looking. Hmmm......I'll take a blue one and this pale blonde one.

Brought them home and since guppies are supposed to be peaceful fish, I put the blue one in the tank and took the other one to work. (yeah, I'm weird that way.) We'll start with the blue one. You know, I have these beautiful fantail guppies. One has a turquoise painting on it's body and tail. The other male has dark blue and purple. Beautiful.

Yeah. Till I got home. I'm looking at them all feeding. The babies are starting to just get color when I notice the female has a nick out of her tail. What? I look closer. The males have great big chunks out of their tales. Whhhaaaattt? The pretty one has a whole 'V' shape out of his. Hmm....someone's goin' down.

I'm watching this blue, male, evil fish ..... he has nipped the bottom fins off the guppies down to a nubbin....you ....e v i l ... fish....you......(see eyes narrowed.....lips all pursed together....NOT happy)

Net evil fish out of tank and put in bowl he came in. He now has a name. We call him Hannibal. Hannibal now sits on the TV. I used to tap his bowl when I went by....I've since stopped that. (evil fishy) Apparently fan tail guppies provoke betas due to the attribute they get their name from. The betas naturally nip at the flowing fins. (still evil fishy)

Now to other one. When I brought him home, my husband said he was an 'u g l y' fish. So I named him Quazi. Quazi and I went to work one day and he has now become the office mascot. I kinda like him too. Had no idea these things have necks. He looks up and eats, it's the wildest thing!

So one day I go to change Quazi's bowl cause it's nasty. Here I am at the sink with my fingers at the top in effort to scare him to the bottom and he jumps over my fingers and down the sink......

INTO THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!

Uh.....! Uh-oh. Um.......I need a man. And fast. I turn to the nearest one. 'Hey K. Um... I need your help.' I tell him what I just did. 'You dropped the fish in the garbage disposal?' (keep in mind, was still blonde people) He's gone.' No, no, I see him. Right there. You have to get him out! He sticks like an inch of his fingers in, pronounces him a lost cause and goes back to his desk. UH!

I say out loud now, "I need a man." K looks at me, 'thanks...' I go to the biggest one in the office, explain my situation. He's a big man. A BIG man. I think he's related to Goliath. He was too big, cause he couldn't get his hand down in the garbage disposal and we're running out of time people......does nobody feel this emergency like I do?

My heart is pounding. I'm thinking of this fish laying in this nasty place.....gulping at air....the pain in his little, bitty chest, starving for air. Pain I have caused....(wait a minute...HE's the one who jumped out of the bowl....)

Ok. Now either he dies and I have to run the disposal so the office doesn't stink of dead fish, or .....oh.....or.....? (someone say bad words for me right now.....)

The whole reason I haven't ponyed up is because...well...like K....I'm afraid to put my hand down there too. All those horror movies from my childhood....I don't wanna lose a finger, hand, fish.... Scenes from final destination are playing through my minds eye....oh geez! Pony up or shut up.

Ok. Say a very honest prayer. Suck up all the little bit of courage I have (all 2 oz) and shove my hand down in this nasty hole. Of course, I immediately 'yipe' and pull it back out (covered in slime mind you). See, I put my hand in tehre, felt around for him, he flipped and scared me....thus the hand came back out in the same measure of speed it went in.

Great. Now I gotta do it again. Oh Jesus. Hand back in (not at mack speed this time) and feel around again. He flips all over these blades in here. I'm praying the blasted piece of machinerary doesn't short out and come on, chewing my fingers into bits.

Aha! I caught it. Cover it with my fingers so the nasty slime doesn't get all over Quazi, and pull it out. Okay. Now I'm shaking like a leaf. Whew! The fish is alive! Do best not to scream fool head off...(it tends to echo in here) and plop adventurous fish back into bowl.

I'm looking him over...no nicks, scrapes, blood. He looks about as pale as I was at that moment. He now has a name change. Jesus. My co-worker spells it this way: Hey Zeus. I figure since he's been resurrected from death, he deserves the new name.

He's really cute when I feed him and the food lands on his head.

Now: Back to the tank.

About a month ago, I cleaned this tank. Took everything out, scrubbed everything, put it back all nice and pretty. It's funny cause the big sucker fish I have swam into the castle right as I put it back in the tank.

The next morning, it's still there. Hmmm..... Come home from work....still there. By the next morning, I tried to free him. Unfortunately, he has swam through the biggest hole and his fins won't fold so I can pull him back out. Oh, I hated to do it, but I had to. I busted the castle to free him. Scared him and me both!

Come home last week and there's three dead fish and the tank is .....blue? Blueish green? What gives? Come to find out, my 'darling' son has gone fishing in the tank. He was scooping them up in the net . . . and dumping them out on the floor. Okay, that accounts for the dead ones, what about the color change?

The girls and I are eating breakfast with the boy (aka, culprit). He's expressing his delight over his cereal when one of his sisters ask him, 'Bubby, what did you do to the fish tank?' We were all shocked at his response.....he points to the box of rainbow drinks. You know, those little koolaids in a jug? "I put this and this and this in there." Four mouths drop, bounce off the table.

You did what? He points to the jugs on the box...that's not good enough, he sorts through the contents and pulls three out, two reds and a blue. "I put this and this and this in there." He knows he's done wrong, so he adds: 'Sorry, Mom. I sorry." (comes out sounding like: saaaaaa reeee)

So...there's koolaid in my fish tank. Nice. Great. Loverly. Poor fishy.

Can we just say it is never a dull moment is my household?