Monday, November 13, 2006

Squirrels and God


Today I was doing my devotions at the kitchen table. I didn't very much like what I was reading for it was a bit convicting. This is where what you do with conviction helps to mold you further into what God wants you to be or puts a wedge to further seperate you from God.

"For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-dged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joint s and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Here is what the extra meat in my Bible had to say on this verse:
"The Word of God is not simply a collection of words from God, a vehicle for communicating ideas; it is living, life-changing, and dynamic as it works in us. With the incisiveness of a surgeon's knife, God's Word reveals who we are and what we are not. It penetrates to the core of our moral and spiritual life. It discerns what is within us, both good and evil. The demands of God's Word require decisions. We must not only listen to the Word; we must also let it shape our lives."

This week I got a call from a girlfriend, a very close girlfriend, who is going through a bit of a trial herself. She's also looking to move with three kids, is looking for a job and a place to live while she's trying to maintain employment for the next two months. Do some figuring - that means she'll be moving around Christmas. She's a bit scared. Which with being a mother of three, is completely understandable.

True friends are hard to find and should be valued as gold. This friend of mine is. God love her, she said reading my blog helped her. I began to cry. Oh God, could it be that through my trials you have shown yourself once again to someone else? That you have used the painful growing experience to show Yourself as the One to lean on to someone else? What if I had given up at the midnight hour? I was so utterly humbled once again. He is such a good, gracious God.

(pause as I get kleenex - elevator music here)

So I'm sitting at my kitchen table (it's actually a utility table that I used to pour candles on way back - but it works and the family is fed!) looking out my window at the view while thinking about what I had been studying. There was this squirrel out my window. Now if you look at my other blogs, there are trees but they are not in my yard. They are across the street or at the end of the yard.

Now we have many trees in our yard. The falling leaves have been a job to all of us. Mom has been reciting a poem about falling leaves, Dad has been trying to figure out how to move them, the neighbors have been wondering why we aren't mowing them and me? I've been pondering how I have enjoyed this fall more than any other. (life is good!)

So here is this squirrel crawling across these branches. Look closer. See those wispy little things? He's out there crawling out to the ends, eating the dried up leftovers the winds couldn't conqueor.

I sat amazed. This little critter that will probably raid my birdfeeders is daringly going out where I just wait for him to fall. Surely the branches can't hold his weight. What if.....and here is where God speaks to me with that kind, soft, gentle voice.

I made him that way. He goes without fear because he trusts me.

This critter doesn't go timidly, he goes forth boldly! He does it with joy. And how much joy was I getting watching him do what he was made to do. I was humbled once again and blessed.

As for God, his way is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him." 2 Samuel 22:31

My dear friend, I have learned today that God's Word is alive! Hallelujah! If we step out in faith to be what he wants us to be, we are victorious! He is our shield if we choose to turn to him and his ways are flawless, without error. He loves us and wants the best for us. Take heart!

Onto the kids!

Two of my lovely children had birthdays within a week of each other. Dink turned 9 and Bubs turned 3. Guess that means I can use the 'terrible twos' for him any longer, eh?

Since Dink is my pumpkin child, born on the 31rst of October, we always have a Halloween/Birthday party for the kids. Everyone is normally allowed to invite 10 kids per child but since the girls had to change schools a week before the party (don't blame me entirely, they were begging and I was tired of driving) we allowed them to invite thier entire classes.

I have NEVER enjoyed thier yearly parties as much as I did this year. With help from another good friend (wink-wink) and mom, we had a blast. There was black punch with floating fingers (the full hand didn't freeze and the girls at the party fought over the fingers, we did good!), we had see-threw gloves with all sorts of stuff in them that looked like old hands, we had eyeballs (brownie balls covered in white chocolate), and spider cupcakes. It was a blast!

Since it was wet and cool, we had it in the garage instead of outside. This was a great idea. We had such a great time and it was nice to see the kids. Since the party was on Friday, Dink's birthday was actually on Tuesday so we went to the church. Oh what fun!
Bubby as a bumble bee. He was upset when he found out that jumping off the bed didn't result in him flying like "Peter Pan" yet he fell to the ground. He took it off immediately.
Dink did her own makeup as a kitty cat.
B-Bug was almost alarming at this. I kept taking double-takes in the rearview mirror.

The church did so good. They even had a petting zoo where Bubs was more courageous than I expected by sitting on the horse. . . 11 times. They had a donkey, ferret, bunny, and Bubs' favorite . . . the pigs.

B-Bug was chosen for Faith-Factor and made it all the way to the final round. Little did they know she loves goat cheese. However, that last round resulted in the contents to be eaten returning to thier original starting position, slightly marred.

Bubs playing 'swords' with his sissy. He loves this game. Every morning his first thought is his swords and often goes to sleep with them as well.

A week later Bubs had his birthday. The big 3! Guess that means I can't blame terrible two's for anything anymore, eh? That was a fun night. His dad came over and took all of us to Mr. Gatti's where we had pizza and he was very upset that we would put money in his games. He'd rather drive with his imagination. It was truly a good night.


I have to put this picture in cause Doog-Boog has been avoiding pictures and she looks good in here.


Here is his castle. This was a good buy cause the knights have swords! I'm not sure who has the most fun, he or us.

Since I started this blog, mom and dad surprised me with a dresser and kitchen table. Yeah for me! I have to say, life is good and only gonna get better.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Weeping May Endure a Night . . .

I don't know how to start this. I was already down for several days when the phone call came.

At first it was mistaken that my Uncle had passed, then I figured out, not my Uncle, my Dad. Thankfully not George, who I tend to refer to Dad now but the dad I grew up with. Apparently from complications of diabetes, he passed on. 69 years of age. Alone.

The last time I had seen him was within the last three months. He had gotten huge, to the point he couldn't walk, he waddled. I knew he was having trouble with his legs, I had no idea it was to do with his diabetes.

From talking with Mom, it sounds like he was asking for help. Not in a direct, I'm ill I need help, but beating around the bush. Mom said of course I didn't read it cause I didn't know him. I would have offered had I known. It was funny cause when I saw him last we went out with the kids to our favorite chinese resturaunt. It felt like he kept wanting to say something but never did.

Seems he called the other house and got my husband late last week, having forgotten I'm no longer there. He'd been talking alot to my husband lately yet it appeared he forgot many things.

I was already down from current events and this just knocked me off my rocker. So far I haven't slept since the night before, (but I had nice phone company at 3 this morning.) but I'm doing better today than I was yesterday.

After I shut everything down last night, took my Bible and prayed, I got a breakthrough. My prayer went something along the lines that I was standing on a rock with horrid waves crashing in the dark with danger all around. I refuse to move till I'm shown where to go next. The step behind me brought me a house, clear view of how greatly God has been caring for me and blessings beyond what I would have asked for. I refuse to move till He tells me to cause I know He has my best in mind.


Loneliness

Loneliness is a deep dark wound
Shining a rich purple against my soul.
It draws me into its forbidden dwelling
And removes my ability to be whole.

Sharp rocks it has to pierce me with,
Sharp edges to slash my skin.
But outside wounds don't hurt as much
As the gashes deep within.

The waves surround and drown me,
Engulf me in swirling mire.
I fight to stay afloat and be
Though weakened to entire.

I pray for strength and peace within,
I pray for God to keep.
Though weary am I and spent within,
As doubt and sorrow seep.

Find me Lord! See me here!
My sorrow is far too much!
Touch me Lord, renew me now
Let me stray not from your touch.

This test, this task, this Lesson Lord,
let me ne'er fail.
I want to be your servant Lord
Let satan not avail.

I'll do your will, your service be,
I want to be your own.
Keep me neaer and strenthened, King
Till the Day you bring me home.
Godivageekette 11/01/2006

I may trip and I may stumble, but I will always get back up. Weeping may endure a night,
but joy cometh in the morning. Always.