Weeping May Endure a Night . . .

I don't know how to start this. I was already down for several days when the phone call came.

At first it was mistaken that my Uncle had passed, then I figured out, not my Uncle, my Dad. Thankfully not George, who I tend to refer to Dad now but the dad I grew up with. Apparently from complications of diabetes, he passed on. 69 years of age. Alone.

The last time I had seen him was within the last three months. He had gotten huge, to the point he couldn't walk, he waddled. I knew he was having trouble with his legs, I had no idea it was to do with his diabetes.

From talking with Mom, it sounds like he was asking for help. Not in a direct, I'm ill I need help, but beating around the bush. Mom said of course I didn't read it cause I didn't know him. I would have offered had I known. It was funny cause when I saw him last we went out with the kids to our favorite chinese resturaunt. It felt like he kept wanting to say something but never did.

Seems he called the other house and got my husband late last week, having forgotten I'm no longer there. He'd been talking alot to my husband lately yet it appeared he forgot many things.

I was already down from current events and this just knocked me off my rocker. So far I haven't slept since the night before, (but I had nice phone company at 3 this morning.) but I'm doing better today than I was yesterday.

After I shut everything down last night, took my Bible and prayed, I got a breakthrough. My prayer went something along the lines that I was standing on a rock with horrid waves crashing in the dark with danger all around. I refuse to move till I'm shown where to go next. The step behind me brought me a house, clear view of how greatly God has been caring for me and blessings beyond what I would have asked for. I refuse to move till He tells me to cause I know He has my best in mind.


Loneliness

Loneliness is a deep dark wound
Shining a rich purple against my soul.
It draws me into its forbidden dwelling
And removes my ability to be whole.

Sharp rocks it has to pierce me with,
Sharp edges to slash my skin.
But outside wounds don't hurt as much
As the gashes deep within.

The waves surround and drown me,
Engulf me in swirling mire.
I fight to stay afloat and be
Though weakened to entire.

I pray for strength and peace within,
I pray for God to keep.
Though weary am I and spent within,
As doubt and sorrow seep.

Find me Lord! See me here!
My sorrow is far too much!
Touch me Lord, renew me now
Let me stray not from your touch.

This test, this task, this Lesson Lord,
let me ne'er fail.
I want to be your servant Lord
Let satan not avail.

I'll do your will, your service be,
I want to be your own.
Keep me neaer and strenthened, King
Till the Day you bring me home.
Godivageekette 11/01/2006

I may trip and I may stumble, but I will always get back up. Weeping may endure a night,
but joy cometh in the morning. Always.