Fat and Tanned!!

Wow I am so far behind on this!!!

1rst. Since I was called from FL and chewed out for not letting anyone know, yes I got the job!!!! I am so excited and I start this Monday. My plan is to go in early, say 9, and use the exercise room some. I have to shamefully admit that my middle is now so big that I am not fitting in my clothes. On vacation, I discovered that my favorite jeans have a rip at the pocket. Not the good rip that shows jeans are loved and well worn, but the kind that says, "OH MY GOSH! YOUR BUTT IS WAAAAAY TO BIG TO BE SHOVING IN ME!!!!" and the pants gave. Not good when you have bright pink undies on. I had nothing else to wear, so I wore my HUSBANDS shirt.

So I will go in, use the tread mill, organize my office with a window, steal furniture from other offices. (is it stealing if you are given permission?) and look at what else it needs. (ie, pics of family, fishing pole behind door for lunch, white board for planning programs, book shelf for books on VB.Net.) I can't wait and I'm so excited. Even the babysitter called all excited. YEAH FOR ME!!! (not for my butt)

2nd. We all just went on vacation. Everyone had about a week except Dad. He got a very mere three days. It wasn't long enough and would you believe that the office was trying to call him on his first day? Are they crazy? Like he gets much time away to just play? Soooooo..........I confiscated the phone and shut it off. They can wait.

What did we do? Well, we went to Maryland where we did some chicken-neckin. That was cool. You tie pieces of chicken to string with weights, throw it over a bridge and just go down the line of strings. One person pulls up the string while the other person takes a net and catches the crabs. (the good kind) Note: Kids aren't good at catching, better at knocking off of the line.
Regardless, B-Bug only knocked off two really good sized ones. She caught all the ones we couldn't eat and had to let go. (we'll catch those next year)

We went to Maryland convention first and that's where I learned something new. Okay, much new. I learned that bee pollen is good for stamina. And allergies. I learned that one friend of mine must keep half a pack of red man in his cheeks cause when he spit it out, that was the only dimple he had. Funny! And how to make Woompum Juice. Oh now people. This stuff is great. You don't taste the whiskey and you don't get hangovers. And if you aren't careful, yes, it is reputed to "woomp" you. I had mine with some moonshine. Learned a bit about that too! There's clear and not clear. I had some clear. Will find out how to get my hands on some "not" clear. Regardless, there are some talented people out there with some interesting stories, that's for sure!

Then, after the convention and the chicken neckin', we went out on a boat to go fishing. Now let me tell you something. These people had this house on the bay. Wow, oh wow! You know, you read about mansions all the time in books, you dream about them, you even see them on television and the movies. I have never seen one like this in real life. I drooled.

Okay, on the bottom floor, side next to the bay, ALL WINDOWS!!! There was a library made of mahogany that was scrumpious with a fireplace that was salvaged from a house in France built in the 1800's. I stood there with my head tilted back, (drool down the chin) and just gasped in awe. There was an inground pool with a gazebo that had heat and air. A huge round pic nic table in the center. Huge gardens all around the place, tennis courts, beamer in the garage, but the house. You just had to see it to believe it. The fellow that took us out on the boat built the house. I was amazed. Impressed. I told him so.

You have to see him too. Morgan. Makes me think of Tombstone. Handlebar mustache, thick hair. And wouldn't you know it. His girlfriend does the gardens. They both were at the convention. Heres your kicker, they both trap. You just had to be there.

So here's all of us on the boat. All 11 of us. Cause there's my family, our host for the weekend, his wife, his son, his nephew and our captian. We are flying out across the water. Bubs is watching and wanting to climb into the water because now he thinks he can walk on water. (bubs is not short for Jesus)

We stop and get out some lines. I climb to the front of the boat because though it's my husbands vacation, he has decided I get to fish first while he watches the wild cremudgian boy. I caught two!! Here's these big, beautiful fish with shiny purple heads "croaking" at me. (probably saying, 'put me BACK, put me BACK, mom was right, I should never have swam up the river.) Bubs was enthralled. He kept saying, "see it? see it?" He would stand back with his eyebrows up high, mouth open wide and go, "AH!!" It was so funny! Like I said, you just had to be there.

Each one of the girls got to reel a fish in and it was so cute cause B-Bug and the nephew kept pulling in there lines to see if they had any bait left. They were all talking about how a shark ate their bait and here's Doog Boog teasing this young fellow, (young, he's 2 years older) "Oh yeah, did you see that big shark take off my bait? I bet he's as long as the boat. I'm afraid he'll eat my arm off." I'm up there peering over the side at here. She's smiling as she watches this red headed little guy wearily peek over the edge of the boat. Something splashed the water, (probably her with her pole) and she jumps and yells. "See! It's that shark!" That poor fellow believed her the whole time.

Dink kept the same bait the whole time, though she was a chicken neckin' fool. When Dad hooked one and let her reel it in, it took all the self control I had not to get invovled cause the thing was pulling my wee one over board just from the weight of it. She hung in there like a real trooper though, she wasn't gonna be beat from it and she giggled at it the whole time. The girl has some serious tan lines also. Where'd she get that from?

B-Bug is all the model on the boat trying to strike a pose against the poles while we're flying across that water. That's all I need, one bump and she'd be crab bait. Hmmmmm................there's an idea...........maybe we could string up some lines off her toes..........

Bubs, when it was my time, I thought I'd see just how brave he is. So, since he had already kicked off his shoes, we jumped the side of the boat to the very back end where there's this piece of wood there. He was standing on it. No, that's not enough. Splashed by the waves and all. NOooooooooo, my boy has to sit down. Okay, I have him by the hands. Nooooooo, now he wants to sit on the edge, then slide into the water, doesn't anyone feel the similarity to the fox and gingerbread man here?

The kid. I'm telling you. We took him to the pool at the hotel. The girls are diving for rocks. So he decides that every rock that the hotel is using for decoration should also be dove for. In they go, three at a time. You couldn't stop him. Then Dad and I taught him to count to three and he would throw him in. That became a funny story. Cause Chawman barely catched him as he stood on this truck hood saying, "tree tree tree" and jumped too him. We all got a laugh out of that one, before he wore us all out on it.

You know, it never fails to amaze me. Dad and I are scaling the fish and he leaves me. Okay. No big deal. He returns with all three girls, rags and knives in hand, for a lesson in cleaning fish. I forget sometimes about life lessons that need to be taught from one generation to the next. See, I was 8 when I learned to clean fish. Not only did he teach them, but I have to be honest and say I was learning a bit also. I still laugh when I think of what it had to be to anyone looking out on that deck. Here's four girls and a man out there, scales all flying in the air, landing in the hair, on each other, fish guts on the table, little Dink is all kicking butt on that scaling too! Fish all flopping around in the table as the girls are trying to get a handle on them. It was hilarious!

We ate till we were miserable. We had hard shell crabs by the bushel the first night. The whole family was out there on that picnic table with butter knives cracking and eating. Bubs kept everyone busy peeling crab. There ain't a one of those girls that can't get to crab meat with a serious vengence.

Who here has had soft shell crab? Oh the glorious things that God comes up with. Soft shell. That's when the crab has shed it's shell and every last bit of it is meat. You clean them, dip them in flour, and fry them up. They look like tarantulas. They're great! We pigged out on those, fish, fried green tomatoes from my own garden, and a delicious fruit cocktail cake. YUM!! Company wasn't bad either!

The third day we went to some of the islands that Dad has read about. Oh, talk about beautiful! You aren't going to belive this, but Davy Crockette took our picture. I kid you not! I even saw his drivers liscence. David Crockette. That night we had linguini with clam sauce. OH yum yum yum!

The next morning we get up early and get lost taking Dad to the airport. I'm sobbing and trying to hide the fact I'm crying. He had to fly out to NM while the kids and I come home. It wasn't fear from having to drive it was just the fact that he was leaving me with all this crap going on around the world. And he was going to be away from me.

So, we get him there. I cry. He gets on a plane. I get in the car. I get lost in DC. Who's surprised? Take a wrong turn off 495 to 95 S and we took the short cut to 70W. You know, it was kinda fun. I felt like I could have driven all the way home but Dad had mentioned for me to stay at this hotel that we stopped at on the way in. I know it was cause he was worried about me. He wanted me to take his cell phone but how am I to call him if I have that and he doesn't? I'm glad we stayed. We all went swimming, Bubs did his rock thing, tried to walk on water, Doog Boog beaned me in the head with a rock. It was a blast! We goofed off when we got in and I got a much yearned for phone call from Dad at 3:40 am. He made it there safely. Thank you God!

It was fun. I loved it. I look forward to doing it again next year. However, who all agrees that three days is NOT long enough of a vacation for the man? Thoughts are pondering and brewing as I type. Anyone wanna offer up some ideas? Babysit for the cremudgian?